


Must be What's Best For Me

by gunboots



Series: And Every Mountain and Hill Shall Be Made Low [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: AU, Age Difference, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, M/M, Multi, Pining, rom-com hell, the breaking and making of Jean-Jacques Leroy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-08 12:27:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8844997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gunboots/pseuds/gunboots
Summary: “You dropkick people in greeting.” Viktor says placidly, “You don’t need us.”JJ takes a sip of tea and doesn’t remark—Viktor is far more aware than Yuri gives him credit for.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [seiteis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/seiteis/gifts).



> This took far longer than I anticipated because episode 10 kinda threw a wrench in the works and then it was constant rewrites because JJ's POV is like impossible for me idk. I think I just kind of poured my JJ/yuri feelings (and some of my Otabek/Yuri feelings) into this and didn't stop. This is JJ's side btw to [ this story](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8714557/chapters/19978996). 
> 
> This needs like a ton of edits I'm sure--I just did a few quick glances. Please someone save me, I hope this makes like any sense at all. The whole moonshine vodka/pickles thing is based on my rl living abroad in Russia for a while--so there's that. Also the toast should??? be accurate--my Russian is like so bad now. I also went with 'Viktor' instead of 'Victor' because it was kinda bothering me so ignore that too. There's a lot to ignore here I guess. Title is from Dragonette's "True Believer"...

It'd been a game once.

Something to amuse himself to pass the time--Otabek was his only competition now that Viktor, surprisingly sentimental had pledged himself to Yuuri Katsuki and seemed to content to leave them all behind. See how far Yuri would come, if he would ever reach their peak.

JJ never went out of his way explicitly--just casually observed as Yuri began to evolve. He did the bare minimum really: followed Yuri on his social media accounts, kept his ear to the ground for any news, and still made his presence known at competitions. (The occasional clash between their fans only served as an added bonus).

They hadn't had much intimate conversation since the finale of the Rostelecom cup--they were hardly even friends. Viktor's reign was over, JJ was deadset on beginning his and Yuri was a distraction. If anything, JJ was only interested in seeing if Yuri would keep to his declaration of war as promised.

Nothing could have prepared him for the 2018 Winter Olympics.

JJ knew Yuri had grown, was growing further still--but there was a world of difference of seeing Yuri across the ice distantly or from his instragram posts and in person. JJ had looked over at the sound of Viktor's voice, he'll admit that. Viktor was the favored star returning to the Winter Olympics in Russia’s time of need. Everyone was talking about him. JJ had meant to look over at the sound of Viktor's voice, but Yuri had stolen his breath away.

It'd been months since they'd last seen each other: Yuri's hair was longer, his body lean and angular. He was beautiful.

JJ had felt his focus slip.

In that damning moment, even as he recovered as best as he could in front of all those reporters, he remembers feeling off balance.

How wrong he’d been—this was far from a game.

\---

Yuri Plistesky bites his way through kisses, unabashedly inexperienced and still so addicting.

 _This is dangerous, he’s dangerous_. That’s all that JJ can think that first time when Yuri settles into his lap and wraps his arms around his neck.

\---

Mila Babicheva flirts and casually threatens JJ within the first five minutes of conversation with her. She dismisses herself with a giggle and a quick ruffle of Yuri’s hair even though she had to stand her tiptoes to even reach.  JJ watches her go with a perplexed smirk: it was far better than Georgi’s awkward attempts at threats in the hallway earlier. JJ isn’t even sure how they already KNEW since Yuri insisted on secrecy. (It’s probably telling by the way JJ’s elected to STAY to extend his stay in Russia instead of going back home to prepare for the Grand Prix in hindsight).

“What about you?” Yuri prompts as Viktor and Yuuri watch Mila retreat with varying degrees of bemusement. It’s not a double date yet somehow Viktor and Yuuri are there with JJ for afternoon tea.

“You dropkick people in greeting.” Viktor says placidly, “You don’t need us.”

JJ takes a sip of tea and doesn’t remark—Viktor is far more aware than Yuri gives him credit for. Beneath the veneer of ‘eccentric athlete’, Viktor knows disapproval is what would drive Yuri further to JJ.

He doesn’t approve—far from it, but he knows not to mention to Yuri. The looks Viktor has been sending JJ over the rink for the past few years are enough.

\---

Yuri thinks he’s some infatuation that will eventually be left one day. JJ’s past struggles with monogamy aren’t exactly secret and JJ's had more fiancées than he can remember. That was years ago—JJ doesn’t know how to emphasize to Yuri how much JJ has changed, how much Yuri had changed him.

JJ deliberately stepped in, made sure to leave an impression. JJ has been watching Yuri for years, intrigued by the threat that was to come.  

His skating is bewitching, focused and sharp—far more graceful than Viktor’s ever was, honed for years on the combination of ballet and skating. Yuri thinks JJ sees him as some kind of Queen or just another jewel in his crown—he doesn’t.

To him, Yuri is a muse.

Yuri inspires him, challenges him—fickle as any god of fortune. JJ has spent too long obsessing over Yuri than he has anyone else.

\---

JJ sends Yuri a dick pic—mostly out of curiosity to see how Yuri would respond.

Yuri’s enigmatic in ways that JJ is still discovering—his issues with intimacy are interesting. It’s understandable in a way—Yuri’s first and last experience with love was Yuuri and he was never able to act on it. Dating is a concept understood and yet seldom practiced. Yuri’s never had time really—and sex is so simple in comparison.

So JJ isn’t surprised that instead of any expected reaction (no responding dick pics or even phone call cursing him)—Yuri just sends him a picture, looking mostly asleep, flipping off the camera with a scowl.

[ _Go the fuck to sleep shithead_.] Says the message instead of ‘I love you’ or even ‘I miss you’—which fine, JJ sent a dick pic instead of saying what he wanted to say too so.

Fine.

JJ saves the picture and texts back: [ _It’s been two weeks since our last phone call, tomorrow ok?]_

There’s no response—it is late over there and Yuri can and will probably not respond until later, if at all.

He’s opening up an email from another charity he’s going to make an appearance for on his laptop when his phone buzzes next to him.

[ _You’re going to fucking do it anyway—why bother asking?]_ Yuri is deliberately difficult in ways that JJ should get irritated about but doesn’t.

 _[You’re busy, I’d like to make sure you have enough time for a conversation.]_ JJ figures he might as well go with honesty at this point, it seems to be what gets Yuri most likely to respond.

[ _What about you?]_ It almost reads like concern, JJ feels victorious already.

_[Practice 7 am my time—but I’m free after.]_

[ _Whatever—just let me sleep, I’ll call when my practice is done.]_

[ _Whatever you’d like, my lady.]_ It’s been a while since he’s used that one, JJ’s cocky on the confirmation of a phone call to really care though.

[ _Die.]_

JJ makes the picture of Yuri flipping him off his lockscreen before moving to clear his schedule for the next day.

He’ll double down on practice after—he has priorities after all.

\---

JJ does not receive the same reception from Yuri’s family or Russia that Yuri receives whenever he visits Canada. JJ’s family adores Yuri, so do  the Canadian press—who find his irate discomfort at the limelight endearing. JJ understands why, in theory, for the reverse treatment. He’s not that above himself to see how it looks: a corrupting western influence on Russia’s favored son, a loyal and hardworking young man who was the sole breadwinner for his family. The fact that Viktor willfully and loudly does much worse is apparently ignored (last JJ saw Yuuri Katsuki, his engagement ring had been the very ideal of needless decadence and ornamental).

Still as Yuri’s beloved grandfather sits across from JJ and sets down a bottle of a clear, pink-tinted liquid and two chipped glasses, he fights to keep the smile on his face.

“Surely, this feels a bit stereotypical.” He attempts to joke, even as Yuri’s grandfather continues to survey him critically. Yuri sits down next to him, placing a plate of pickles next to the bottle. His leg brushes against JJ’s in a transparent act of indirect comfort. Yuri is not one for PDA and JJ is—it’s been a work in a progress, any touches Yuri initiates are things to be treasured.

“You have the Canadian national anthem tattooed on your bicep. You don’t get to talk.” Yuri snorts as he reaches for a pickle and takes a bite. They have the week off, spending the weekend at Yuri’s family dacha north of Moscow. Viktor’s here because he’s Viktor and apparently well loved by Yuri’s family. JJ can hear him laughing with Yuri’s aunts in the kitchen as he helps thread lamb for _shishliki_ for the bonfire later tonight.

“Why is it pink?”

“It’s moonshine vodka—they pickle vegetables in it.” Yuri shrugs, he’s softer here, surrounded by his family and their love. The weight of being Viktor’s successor is light for once. Yuri gives him a smile and JJ is weak towards the open affection. “You take a pickle after every shot.”

It’s just like his muse to challenge him like this, push him past his limits with a few words and a look.

“This is a bad time to mention I’m a distressingly weak lightweight, isn’t it?” JJ says, half joking. Yuri rolls his eyes, shoving him with his shoulder half-heartedly. JJ realizes, with the certainty of the damned, Yuri must really be worried then.

“You’ll be fine.” JJ may love him; it should worry how much he may love him.

Yuri’s grandfather holds out a glass to JJ to accept, he holds his own in another hand.

“Давайте выпьем за здоровье.” He murmurs, JJ struggles to return the sentiment. He is distinctly aware Yuri is laughing at his pronunciation maybe, at him definitely, and maybe even that someone loves him enough to drink with his grandfather and his disapproval.

JJ takes the shot.

\---

Moonshine vodka burns his throat; Yuri’s smile is brighter than the pain though so JJ does shot after shot with his grandfather.

Around what he thinks is the fourth, JJ discovers that he’s stopped taking a bite of the pickle. He realizes then that his vision is swimming; his smile has long slipped off his face. Yuri’s grandfather holds up the bottle and pours another round. JJ barely waits for him to finish the toast before he slams this one down too.

After that, Yuri takes the glass from his hand. There’s fond exasperation in his voice as he steadies JJ from falling out of his chair. “Ok, that’s enough.”

Yuri says something to his grandfather and there’s a look that JJ can’t understand in his current state of inebriation, he feels like he may have won something.

“Oh, he’s still alive!” JJ forgot Viktor was here, he has a suspicion that this entire thing was HIS idea. Viktor looks enigmatically amused as he swims in JJ’s vision.

“Maybe.” Viktor allows and JJ considers that perhaps he’s said this all aloud.

“It WAS his idea.” Yuri doesn’t sound nearly as fond this time, closest to anger JJ’s heard in a while. But he’s still holding JJ up so it’ can’t be directed at him. Yuri is holding JJ up in full view of his grandfather and family—JJ hopes desperately that whatever Viktor had planned was backfiring.

“It did.” Viktor assures, tone sincere and eyes less so. JJ doesn’t bother responding to that—he turns to maintain eye contact with Yuri’s grandfather.

Yuri’s grandfather takes another drink from his own glass, lips thinning as he makes his final assessment. Eventually he turns to bark something, rising up from his seat. Yuri and Viktor both look caught off guard at whatever it was.

Yuri’s grandfather holds out his hand to shake, JJ half falls over and barely manages to right himself to shake it. Yuri’s grandfather’s hand is calloused and rough, JJ feels suddenly aware of the telltale softness of his.

“Please tell me that means he approves.” He half-whispers to Yuri as his grandfather leaves, Yuri’s hand is on his arm as JJ sways when his hand is released.

“…Something like that.” But he’s grinning at JJ, secret and soft.

\---

JJ doesn’t dislike Otabek as a person, he’s a bit too straight laced for JJ’s tastes. He’s polite towards Yuri’s best friend, maybe a little less so than he used to be but Otabek and Yuri have yet to call him out on it. JJ already considers Otabek competition to take over Viktor’s spot, add in the way he obviously pines for Yuri in an echo of the way Yuri did once for Yuuri and JJ’s patience can only go so far.

Otabek is hardly subtle about his feelings, similar in that regard and yet completely different. Yuri still doesn’t understand Otabek has given him multiple confessions of love on several occasions, instead Yuri takes them as tokens of friendship. Yuri is so painfully lonely, the admiration of a skater on JJ and Viktor’s level  must seem too good to be true.

JJ knows better.

JJ’s not upset about Otabek’s infatuation—it’s understandable. Otabek is just another victim to Yuri’s invincible pull, besides, he’s far too honorable to try and tempt Yuri away. (Not that it matters anyway, they’ll never have the same mark Yuuri Katsuki and his emotive skating will have on Yuri’s heart even as time goes on ).

That doesn’t mean JJ doesn’t see him as a threat.

If life was fair, if JJ was fair—maybe he would back down, his love for Yuri is not nearly as pure or as long as Otabek’s. JJ would step aside and let Yuri and Otabke volve to the next version of Yuuri and Viktor—if they so choose.

But JJ isn’t fair, life isn’t fair—and JJ struck first. JJ is nothing if not a shrewd strategist—he made sure to stick out early on. He made it known what he wanted from Yuri, made sure it wasn’t something easily mistaken for friendship.

Otabek burns—his victories are cutting and JJ finds him just as lethal as Yuri. That’s fine though—Otabek can be as angry as he wants, JJ's the one who gets Yuri in the end.

To the victor go the spoils indeed.

\---

JJ isn’t blind to the irony.

He’s lived a charmed life up to this point, never truly been one for suffering. He’s lived like royalty—never had difficulty getting anyone to say ‘yes’ to him, never had to worry about impressing anyone else. Sure, he tends to be a bit overconfident but that’s his privilege—he’d conquered all he’d set out to and everything else left were simple inconveniences.

Yuri is the only person who causes JJ to push himself farther for no real guaranteed payoff.  It’s risky and terrifying but he does it anyway. He’s addicted to it, to Yuri, to the feeling of the chase.

He wasn’t lying that fateful first night of his botched confession—Yuri’s win over his program wasn’t like JJ’s losses to Viktor. Yuri was unattainable on that podium (he thinks part of Yuri always will be unattainable) and JJ’s always wanted what he couldn’t have, treasured prizes lost more so than those won.

Sometimes JJ lays against his bed and wonders idly when Yuri will realize just how much pull he has over JJ. If he’ll even care how much JJ has given him that he’s never given anyone else before.

It’d be a fitting end to his rule, all things considered.

\---

JJ finds himself wondering from time to time just when he became so masochistic.

\---

To be honest, JJ’s tired of the comparisons of their relationship and that between Yuuri and Viktor. He’s never had to deal with the parameters of another relationship so intimately before, and unfortunately Yuri’s view of romance is defined by what he knows and he knows them. He supposes it could be worse—he could have adopted Georgi’s almost suicidal break-neck pace of romance that borders on addiction (he has yet to find a girl that can match his affections in their intensity).

The point is—he and Yuri are not Yuuri and Viktor.

They never will be.

It’s just another in a long list of concessions he’s had to make but he’ll keep doing it, keep reaching out. JJ is nothing if not tenacious—one day Yuri will see they don’t NEED to channel anyone else, Yuri doesn’t need to channel anyone else. They were JJ and Yuri—they were going to be mythic in their own way.

It was only a matter of time really.

\---

Yuri holds out his hand for JJ to take as they make their way towards the restaurant JJ’s family reserved for his birthday dinner. The street is packed, but since it’s July and a trendy part of downtown, no one seems to notice or care.

Yuri’s wearing some gaudy shirt that has a tiger lined in neon mid-yowl—JJ recognizes it absently as a shirt he got for him in Hong Kong. JJ’s heart swells.

“ _Jesus_ come on already.” Yuri’s blushing, hand still extended—a ring on his finger that oh, JJ bought for him too.

JJ takes his hand, presses his lips to the fingers and watch Yuri give a theatrical sigh.

“Seriously—you’re so childish, how can you be late to your own birthday.”  Yuri bitches even as he pulls JJ along, affectionately squeezing his hand.

It’s a pretty good metaphor for his life lately—blindly following as Yuri leads the way.

JJ doesn’t mind it.

There are somethings that are bigger than him.

 

**Author's Note:**

> still have jj/yuri/otabek to finish because i'm full committed to Yuri/undercut harem hell hi party of one.  
> Please fellow JJ GIRLS talk to me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/badtouches) I FORGOT TO MENTION IT EARLIER BUT I'm like actually dying.


End file.
